Posted by Mindy1718 on 2014/12/26 under Uncategorized It’s already the 26th of December 2014… What am I doing? I’m not the person I imagined at all! All my “dreams,” never coming true. The things that I’ve always wanted to do has gone out the window because I have responsibilities! Being a different person could always help me! It always has… But then I lose my own personality and get confused to who I really am. Being another person has changed me and the people who I usually hang out with so why not change myself again? Oh, yeah, those times have just been hell when I found myself! I’m so stupid to even think that I should change myself again and again. I want the things that some other people have but I know that I can obtain those things for that is childish. I don’t want to grow up just yet, I wanna stay young! Have you noticed that the word I is being used quite often? The person who is typing this up is truly a idiotic girl who wants something that is stupidly shouldn’t be done. Who knows what she truly desires too? She changes her mind so frequently that it confuses herself and other around her. What kind of person wants something that cannot just be obtain just by dreaming or waiting for many years instead of just living life as it is and going out to explore what she desires? The many reason to why she can’t leave, her family and her own self. The life of her friends are not of an adult but of a high school idiots. Why is that life so appealing to that girl? She’s quite tired of her life, being a young adult who has to take care of herself and her mother that so bugs the crap out of her. Why stay with that mother if there is no end to the rage inside her? She doesn’t want to hate that mother but she also has to take care of her. The real thought though is why can’t this girl run away with her life and start over to a different city but still helping her own mother? There lies a feeling of discomfort of leaving her mother by herself and the fact of leaving and not knowing what is going to happen haunts this child. Can she do it? Well, I don’t know if I could really run now… I want to but so many things hold me back… My mind is like spaghetti, it’s all mixed up with so many things that I must figure out on my own. How long is it that I have to find these answers until I feel comfortable or even at peace! Finding peace and assurance is what I want! The smell of air that doesn’t choke me.